you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
