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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
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At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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