my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
