he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
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theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize