I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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