Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
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Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
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He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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