I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
