I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
