my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I believe in your delicious
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
