I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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