She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
