can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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