He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
