She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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