I think i sorta joined a cult last night
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
