youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
