she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
