Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
