His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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