I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
