Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
