Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
