she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize