Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
