I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
