question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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