I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
