i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
