yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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