the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
