She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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