My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize