Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize