glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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