Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
