meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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