Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
