WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize