I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
