my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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