I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
