Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
