im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
