He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I could make wine with my vomit
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
