Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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