Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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