That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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