hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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