Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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