he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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