Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
