Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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