When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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