I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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