i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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