Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
