you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
