in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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