Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
